chicken road jokes
1Vector3
Jay Leno-type answer: How could I say Why without a writer---and they're still on strike.
Software development company's answer: Only our customer knows why for their own business reasons. We are still working the bugs out of the program for it flying across the road, so in this beta version, it walks across the road. [This is my #1 favorite so far.]
Video Gamer's answer: Because it knew the position it was occupying on that one side of the road was about to get blasted.
Zaadzster's/Gaia Community Member's answer: Because that was the Change it was Being.
(I made all those up.)
Machiavelli: So that this princely chicken's subjects would view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also view it with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before!
Mr. Spock: Because, all things considered, it was the logical thing to do at that time in those circumstances. (I made this one up.)
Shakespeare's answers in drama:
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Othello: To check on what his wife was up to. (I made this one up.)
Romeo: A lot easier than climbing up to a balcony! (I made this one up.)
Julius Caesar: The reason, dear Questioner, lay in his stars. (I made this one up.)
Poetic answers:
Emily Dickinson-1: Because it could not stop for death.
Emily Dickinson-2: Because there was a smaller pond across the road in which it could be a bigger frog. (I made this one up.)
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
William Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
John Donne: It crosseth for Thee.
Machiavelli-1: The end of crossing the road justifies whatever the motive was.
Martin Luther King, Jr.-type answer: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. [No disrespect intended. I think this is actually a profound and thought-provoking answer.]
Moses-type answer: And God came down from the Heavens, and God said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road," and the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. (No disrespect to Judaism intended or implied.)
Ernest Hemingway-type answer: To die. In the rain.
Bill Gates-type answer: We have just released the new Chicken Office 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. (No disrespect or imputings to Microsoft or Gates intended or implied.)
Jerry Seinfeld-type answer: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Zen-type answer 1: What road? This answer has also been attributed to Pyrrho The Skeptic.
Zen-type answer 2: If there were no chicken to cross the road, would there still be two sides to the road?
(I think I made this one up.)
Carl Jung-type answer: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and, therefore, synchronistically brought such occurrences into being.
Darwin-type answer 1: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predispositioned to cross roads.
Rumi-type answer 1: Actually the chicken was whirling in an altered state of consciousness and just ended up on the other side of the road.
Rumi-type answer 2: Because it mistakenly believe The Beloved was on the other side.
(I made up both of those Rumi answers.)
Einstein-type answer 1: To explore the mystery of the impossibility of faster-than-light travel. (I made this one up.)
Einstein-type answer 2: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved underneath the chicken, depends on the observer's frame of reference.
Because everyone else was crossing the road, too, including a million toads with assistance. I kid you not! Read about it at
http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/content/view/2636/248/
(I KNOW I made THIS one up!!!)
Humor of another stripe: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/george_carlin.html A lot of them are quite philosophically sophisticated!!
John Mackey (CEO? Owner? of Whole Foods Markets)-type answer: The really important thing is that it COULD cross the road, so it was obviously a free-range chicken, which is very important to us.
(I made this one up.)
You are cordially invited to email me or add as comment, any answers you are aware of, so I can add to my already-extensive collection. Please attempt to give creator-credit where that is due. Here's to a few LOL or even ROTFL!!!!!!
Access: Public
chicken road jokes
August 2008 
You can check out the definitive collection of philosophical humor over at David Chalmers site here: http://consc.net/phil-humor.html with those of a feathered variety appearing here: http://philosophy.eserver.org/chicken.txt
Mark
Ohmigosh, Mark, this turns out to be the source of the printout someone gave me a long time ag–with no source indication–that I have been working from, but it seems to have more entries than the version I have. Wow what a treasure!!! THANK YOU!!!
I zBookmarked it, but hope not too many read it all, as I shall continue to use it as my source for my Chuckle Corner. And I wonder whether I should seek to contribute the ones I made up. Some there I know I made up, but so did someone else!!!!
I live far enough outside our culture that I don't even recognize some of the contemporary names…..
I am sitting on some re Ken Wilber and the head of Whole Foods Markets, that I made up, til I get brave enough…..
Blessings, OM Bastet
See Othello's answer in Shakespere type reasons.
Looks like the road was not the only thing that the chicken crossed.
Get it?
I like the Einstein type answers too. Re Einstein 1. I think that is why squirrels try to cross the road. I frequently see those who didn't figure it right.
Re Einstein 2. I frequently do that kind of meditation. I am amazed at the enlightenment I receive.
Maybe I “get it” re the Othello answer. Not sure, LOL !!!!!! He must have “crossed” her or she wouldn't need checking up on? Or he crossed the line of politeness or respect in even checking up ?
Thanks for the Einstein comments, yeah. And have you ever sat in a car as a passenger and got into the “reality”/perception in which the car is still and everything else is in motion going past? First time that happened to me was through tiredness, but yeah, the “enlightenment” is amazing, when one explores such radical shifts in perspective. Thanks for bringing that up !!!!!!!!!!!!
Blessings, OM Bastet
I was driving and then I heard cars whizzing by, two people talking:
“I don't know. I just got here.”
“They'er coming. I called. I can hear them now.”
Sound of sirens.
“Be careful of her neck.” “I've got her. She's ok.”
Door slams. Sirens sound.
I am laying flat somewhere. Alone. I turn my head to the right and there is a blank white wall except for a clock.
“Oh, I'm sure someone will come. I must be in a hospital. I wonder why.”
I turn my head facing straight up. Soon a police officer approaches and says, “Here's your license.”
I ask: “ What happened?” He said, “I don't know. I got there after the fact. You apparently did nothing wrong. You were in the middle of ramp going 35. That's fine. Someone will come by soon. You're ok with the law.”
Nurses come by. “We ran some tests. You can leave now. Do see your primary care physician ASAP. Is there someone we can call for you, someone to pick you up?”
“My employer. Tell them where I am at.”
“We already did. We got them from the ID tag you are wearing.”
“I need to call them again to get a ride home.”
I was on my way to work. 8:15 a.m. I have Sleep Apnea. I substituted OTC meds for prescription medication. I fell asleep while driving. Did not even feel sleepy. Doctor was very angry that I did not do as told. I do now. Car was totaled.
Enlightenment/Confirmation: I was right! We are never alone. People are of good heart and without a thought are ever ready to help. One was in trouble. Many, all strangers, came to help. Not thinking. Just living by heart.
Further proof of our Oneness with the Creator-God, called Love, expressed by all people and all creation.
And so it is right that we Rejoice and be Glad.
Deo Gratias!
Joyous Mary
OK Re Othello type ans.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: to Check up on what his wife was doing?
I'm thinking he's a rooster, not a chicken. Or, are they all chickens, some roosters and others hens. It's a question I've never considered. I just assumed all chickens were shes.
Now I've got me walkin' around, mumblin' to myself trying to figure it out.
See my status.
Re your second post: I just assumed chickens included roosters and hens, and it's interesting that all the chicken-road jokes assume the chicken is a HE. Now ain't THAT interesting ?!!! [I phrase mine in mostly gender-netural “it” language. Maybe I'll make up a bunch that only could be true for a “she.” Like, she was going over to look at an earring that fell out of a car onto the side of the road.]
Re your first post: Wow. What an experience. I'm glad you got away with your body intact. Thanks for sharing that. I feel peculiar having it in this humorous blog, but it does seem to be about roads, and crossings of them. Just a lot more seriously. I hope your story prevents someone from harm after they read it here.
I will show it to some of my friends with sleep apnea who do not heed my suggestions to do something about it. Sounds almost like narcolepsy, but I assume you mean sleep apnea?